Skip to main content

Become The Person That The Person You're Looking For Is Looking For

I don't usually repost or reblog articles I read on the web - it's my simplest way of respecting an author's original work. I do, however, share blogs that I want other people to read. But this certain blog post really hit me, because I find myself in a somewhat similar situation. So for her blog, I will make an exception.

This is for the people who had fallen and been broken; for the people who had lost faith in relationships; to those who had stopped believing in happy endings;  to anyone who has ever felt love at one point in their life, and cried.




You Should Date…



The person I want you to date exists and I want you to wait it out until you meet them. Because, in case you haven’t yet,  you will. Waiting is for the brave  – it means watching years pass, noticing yourself growing older and sitting through wedding after wedding after wedding. It means bottling that slow-rising fear. It means questioning your standards and running the risk of settling.

I wish someone had told me that the person I was meant to be with was a real actual living person, breathing in some part of the world and waiting, too. I did not believe in romantic destiny so I projected all my hopes into the wrong people and tried desperately to make these wrong people right. In the end, no one won and the aftermath was a combination of devastating grief, self-loathing and crippling regret. I do not want that for you.

Wait.

The person I want you to date might be making morning coffee right now or sleeping through a thunderstorm or getting a degree in Physics. Wait. I mean it. Every other person will be a cheap imitation of the real thing.

The person I want you to date believes in big things. This person has a passion and pursues it with a  hunger that could set the world on fire. This person believes in setting goals and making them happen. Trust me: you will never regret being with someone who is madly in love with their purpose in life. When you meet this person —  this unstoppable ball of good fury — I want you to have a vision of your own. A goal you can shape your life around. I want you to have a desire to change the world, whatever pocket of it you belong to. You can’t be stagnant when the person you’re with is active and dynamic. Life is a grand celebration of doing great things that matter and you (yes, you) play a huge part in all of it.

The person I want you to date has character. When you’re young, all you’re looking for is personality. Charm. Compatibility in music and book taste and food preferences. I think these are all well and good but character is what sustains a relationship when all of these things change. Personality is ever-evolving, character grows and amplifies in time. Character is when a person does beautiful things without seeking credit. It’s when someone doesn’t quit — even if every fiber of their being begs them to. It’s the ability of someone to graciously expend back-breaking heart-wrenching love to someone who has disappointed and failed them. Character is that beautiful thing that gets molded over time and experience. Be someone with character and never settle for someone without it.

The person I want you to date will be into you. Really, really into you. There will be no need for pointless mind games, no room for even the slightest bit of emotional confusion.  The person I want you to date will be crystal clear about their intentions towards you. They will not win you over with sweet nothings or romantic gestures. Their love will be bigger than the superficial trappings of courtship. The person I want you to date will take the time know you. They will see everything there is to love about you  and they will look at the core of all the bad stuff and not balk. They will not run at the first sign of ugliness. Instead, they will love you through it.

I want you to know that the person I want you to date will fail you. Give them the grace to be human. (You are one, too.) Don’t listen to those stupid quotes that tell you that the person who loves you will never make you cry. I want you to realistically approach this thing we call human relationships. Hurting one another is part of the messy dynamics of getting close to someone. But the person I want you to date is a person who knows how to resolve conflict especially when it blows up in both your faces. Their ego will never be too big to own up to their mistakes.

And when it comes to their love for you, YOU WILL KNOW. Their love will be the most painfully obvious thing in the world that though  you will come to question many, many things in life, you will never — not even once — question them.

And you know what? They will believe in you so much that you will never feel compelled to question yourself. You will put all your insecurities to rest because the person I want you to date will, more than anything, make you feel that you matter. Always. And you know why? Because you do. :)

I’m sure it sounds like a long shot but what if you dared to believe that the person I want you to date is real? Love is greater than cynicism and this is what I believe — yes, me, the last single girl in the world: While some people think  this all sounds  too good to be true,  there is a God who is out to give us things that are much too good to be false.

Believe. Don’t settle. And in the meantime: become the person that the person you’re looking for is looking for. 


Isa Garcia is an everyday girl. She likes writing, food and travel. Her full blog appears here.

Labels

Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Of Buses

I awoke at the voice of the conductor. I looked through the half-tinted, fogged window of the bus, and saw that it was drizzling outside. The road was busy, deceitful and unwelcoming, as cars veered to and fro it's intersections. I stared at Rachel, sitting beside me, sleeping, her head resting on her side, with her hair brushing along the scarlet curtains. I watched as the lights from outside brightened her full cheeks. She is beautiful as ever. I noticed her pale red lips, dried by the cold temperature of the bus, move and twitch, and so I let my eyes escape her view. "Are we there yet?" she whispered, half-awake. I let out a sigh, then turned my head to her, shaking it, smiling. "What's taking us too long?" "We got stuck in traffic earlier. As always." Now its her turn to let out a sigh, an irritated one, and I saw her breath as it came out of her mouth. "Do you feel cold?" I asked. She nodded. I reached out my arm to t...
4 comments
Read more

Perfect Love Story

This is my perfect love story. We meet while I am having a summer vacation in Puerto Princesa. Or maybe Boracay. Or Pagudpud. Or Baler. You are visiting your family. Or maybe you are taking a break with your friends. Or colleagues. We are in a restaurant, a cafe, and I am ordering a drink or a meal, and you are doing the same. We catch a glimpse at each other, and at that instantaneous moment, we both know. We are meant to be. The world stops spinning. But only in our heads, because everyone around us continue moving. Yet, we don't care. Time stands still, and all I see is you. I smile, and you catch yourself smiling back. You break your stare and blush. Time starts moving again. From that moment on, I couldn't stop looking your way. Yet you keep avoiding my eyes. Of course you will. You are a proud woman, you're not cheap, you're not easy to get. You stand up and excuse yourself. You say you are not feeling well and you start walking back to your cottage. I stan...
Post a Comment
Read more

Gracenote's First Movement

Gracenote's First Movement makes a lasting movement. I am a fan of Gracenote. Their music is reminiscent of the 90's pop-rock that I grew up with, combined with punkish-rock elements. They're not too heavy, and not too pop either, they're at the middle, and that's why rockers from both spectrum can enjoy their sound. The Gracenote, from left to right Alvin Ortiz (who, sadly, already departed the band), Chen Pangan, Eunice Jorge, Jazz Jorge and EJ Pichay First Movement , I believe, is their second album. The first one, self-titled Gracenote , was released independently some time in 2009. Since then, they have come a long way and their music evolved. Three years ago you might have dared call them a Paramore knock-off, but now they are Gracenote. First Movement consists of 8 tracks, the last one being an acoustic version of their current single, Amnesia . Kicking off the album is Knock Knock , written by the band's lead vocalist herself, Eunice Jorge....
2 comments
Read more